10 Ways to Love Yourself More

I haven’t done an article post in a while, so this is going to be a bit of a summary of some of the changes I’ve made in my life recently, or changes that I am actively working towards.

We can only find a full and happy life, when we take the first step of loving ourselves, unconditionally.   So this list is a bit of an oxymoron, because you’re kind of perfect just the way you are, right?   BUT, if you love yourself so much, that you want to do the best by you, these are 10 things you might want to consider doing.

  1. Look in the mirror and smile, daily.   Yes, this corny step, that seems oh so self righteous and cliche, really has an amazing impact on your self esteem, your self worth and, embodying that state of happiness.  We humans are SOOOO visual, we learn visually, we are stimulated visually, we take in knowledge and remember experiences visually.   If, on a daily basis, we see ourselves smiling and happy, shouldn’t that become part of who we just inherently are?   It might seem silly and fake at first, if you aren’t happy, but just go with it, and you’ll see that at one point you’ll just be laughing at your stupid self smiling in the mirror at 7 am, and you’ll start your day with laughter.   Silly?  Maybe.   But it’s absolutely a win.
  2. Listen to more music.   Now this is a tricky one….. you gotta tread carefully here because music has the power to either lift you higher then you could of imagined, or throw a ice cold stake through your heart.   Yes, it’s dramatic, but if you’re a human, you know what I mean here.   So find yourself an empowering playlist through Spotify and get your groove on, and show Stella how it’s done.
  3. Give life advice to yourself, as if you were talking to your best friend.  When we are dishing out “how to’s” to our friends, we basically think we are giving the best advice, because well, we aren’t attached to the situation in the same way, we are un biased, and we see the whole picture.   We need to do this for ourselves…. would you let your best friend be upset about waiting for “him to text back” or “thinking they will change eventually”?    Abso-fucking-lutely not.    You’d say, “Bitch get dressed, we’re going out to find you someone better” or we’d quote, Madea, quoting Maya Angelou, “if someone shows you who they are, believe them” with a dumb Tyler Perry tone.
  4. Delete Facebook off of your phone.  Seriously.   Right now.   Go, delete the app off of your phone.   “Don’t worry I’ll wait…”    For most of us, we are constantly attached to our phones, but this isn’t an article about that, what I intend by this, is that by removing FB from our phones, we check it less, we compare ourselves to others less, and we actually give ourselves, a substantial amount of time, back, that is dedicated to ourselves, to improve ourselves, to improve our lives, or hopefully, to bask in how amazing life is, as it is, right now.
  5. Get real Honest with yourself.   This one isn’t fun, or glamourous or anything like that, I could probably spin this into a positive, but the Chianti has me on a roll right now, and I’m not gonna slow down.   BUT, assess your life, and your habits, and your patterns.   Ask yourself questions.   Do I drink too much?  Do I make myself available for others more than I am available for myself?  Do I eat the right foods for my desires and needs?  Do I get enough exercise?  Do I blah, blah blah.    Give yourself an objective assessment and honestly read your results, without giving excuses.
  6. Take yourself out on a date.  If we wait for someone else to do something with, we might wait an entire lifetime.   Seriously, if you wanna go see that movie, that no one else wants to check out, just fucking go.   If you want to go to that new restaurant, go by yourself.  If you want to check out that concert, fucking go.   Some people may say that sounds lame, and so ‘un-cool’ but what’s really lame and ‘un-cool’ is letting life pass you by.   You can sit on your ass waiting for your crew, or that significant other…. as for me I’ll be back stage with the band.
  7. Perform a RAK, and don’t tell anyone else about it.   Do something nice for a complete stranger, something outstanding, and beneficial for another human being, and don’t ever speak of it to another person.   Doing this a) is good for that other person, b) is good karma, but don’t let that motivate you, and c) it is a secret you have with yourself, it is a relationship building exercise to get more intimate with yourself.  You will always have this as a path, to get back to yourself, and the conversation that only you can have with yourself.   
  8. Cut out the negative BS.   Now this is very general, but it has such power, that so few of us actually use.   You control your body, you control your life, you control where you go, who you’re with, what you do.  If someone (friends, family, significant others) or something (ideas, jobs, social standards, beauty standards, body standards) in your life is causing you pain, or is detrimental to you and your growth and loving yourself then you need to get rid of it.   PRO TIP: this shit is hard.   Good luck, but when you take control back over your life, you really dictate what you allow and what you don’t and you get to chose only the best for yourself.
  9. Ask for help.  This is a hard one for all us prideful people, me, being raised Irish Catholic on one side of the family and Italian on the other side, and then a mix of some other stuff, I absolulty inherited the pride gene, and let me tell you.   It leaves you at the bottom of the barrel.   Seek help and advice.   Pick up  a book, read an article like this, or ask your friends for their advice.   When you do that, it just opens a door to a path of self discovery and self exploration.
  10. Wear sexy underwear.   Not only do you feel amazing when your undergarments are on fleek, but you are saying you are ready for anything.    You are stating that no matter what happens, you are ready to go with the flow.  So, be it an interview at the top company in your industry, or a date at the local bar, or going to the gym, or heading to bed, make sure you are in your best, and ready for anything.   

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